Second Night In a Row...

I had another incident on my walk this evening, this one of a violent, verbal nature that's left me feeling less comfortable on my streets than last night.

In almost the exact same spot the incident last night came to an end, a young man dressed in a hoodie, smoking a cigarette kept staring at me as I crossed the street and walked toward him wearing my over-the-ear headphones. He repositioned himself to intercept me.

This sort of manoeuvre bothers me. Not only do you feel threatened late at night on an empty street but it's also just something people wanting money from strangers will do as well (like I have any to spare.) Fresh in my mind was a recent incident of someone doing just that but holding a bicycle to block us while my son and I biked down a busy street. On that occasion I told the man I couldn't stop, I had my child with me. He didn't take it well at all, but that was that.

Also fresh in my mind, of course, was last night. I was more than a little uppity about being hassled on the street in any way. I ignored the young man as he spoke to me. Then he raised his voice after I was past him and, for some reason, my brain told my mouth to say, "Sorry, Buddy, I can't help you."

Less than a minute later a tiny beater of a car blew past me from behind with the window open. A middle finger was thrust out of it directed at me. I instinctively returned the favour by doubling the offer. The car then did a U-turn and pulled around to block me as I tried to cross the next street.

I was a bit ornery to say the least but I also didn't know if I was about to die. I had no idea who was in the car. There was a grow-op busted this summer not 100 feet from where I met the dude. He started yelling at me. My response? I cupped my ear, still with headphones on, and said in mocking, almost Nickelsonesque voice, "Sorry, I can't hear ya!" and kept walking.

He pulled around again and parked beside me on the street, yelling and even more agitated, from what I could see. I lifted my earcup off and had a listen. Turns out he was looking for his dog. He lost his sanity and was screaming near nonsense, then came out: "Just because I'm eighteen you won't talk to me?"

I'm making him sound awfully polite and non-threatening. He was not.

I told him, "You'll have to forgive me, I was harassed on that very spot last night by a bunch of teenagers, so yeah, I didn't want to talk to you."

I'm making myself sound awfully polite and non-threatening. I was not. But I did say those words, just not likely how you think I did.

I then offered to help look for his dog. He went on losing his shit on me. I then informed him I wasn't going to help him look for his dog and continued home as he his tantrum progressed. Then he stalled his car by mishandling the clutch.

Sure, only I would have ignored someone like that to their face. Any other night, though, I would have talked to the guy. But this evening was set up to happen this way because of last night's events.

With him being eighteen, I'm not likely to encounter him wandering the streets again as long as his beater holds out. But I really, really wonder what's happening with kids today. They think they're so entitled. A lot of guys would have confronted him physically. He's lucky I'm a pacifist with anger issues.

Or maybe he thought I was a harmless obese person he could say anything to.

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Here are some excerpts of the remarkable feedback I got from friends regarding last night's post:

Reminds me of the first time I went for a walk with (my husband) after having the twins. Not two blocks out the door and a couple teenage boys yelled out "hey buddy, your wife's a fat, ugly &@$)*." I knew they were idiots, but damned if that didn't stick with me for awhile.

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I have been running on and off for 15 years and only recently stopped caring if people think I look like a dork while doing it. I know I don't look as good as I hope and I know I don't look as bad as I fear. I NEVER run alone after dark because I am afraid, and it pisses me off that I have to be afraid. I have considered running with bear spray but know that if it was ever turned on me I would be in a worse position than I was to start with. My defence is to stick to public paths and to only go in the daylight, preferably where if I scream for help someone will hear me. That means that someone will see me while running, and I'm a sweaty, red-faced mess when I run - but I feel freaking amazing.

I (and I think most female runners) are used to wolf whistles and cat calls. I have been mooned. I have been sworn at. I was swerved at once by a car. Depending on my mood, I might shrug it off or I might flip the bird (which only bit me in the ass once when I wasn't paying attention and it turned out to be a friend trying to say hi).

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When I was perhaps 20 and (my brother) 18, I was driving him to (a store). While I was slowly looking for a parking spot in the lot, an obese young woman (older than we were -- maybe 30) was walking out of the store. My...brother promptly started pointing and laughing, rolled down his window, and yelled out to her "Suuueeeee! Roll her in flour and go for the wet spot! Slap her thighs and ride the waves in!" 

Everyone in the lot looked first at him, then at this poor woman, who had done nothing whatsoever to deserve such a public humiliation. Some people laughed. I was horrified, and instead of stopping at the store, kept driving. When I expressed outrage at him, I clearly remember him laughing and telling me I should lighten up -- in his opinion, I was the one with the problem, not him. I never drove him anywhere ever again....