"If I Could Only Become An Exercise Fanatic, I Would Be Thin"

I believe the above statement is a myth that many of us believe. On the one hand, I believe strongly that getting fit cures much of what ails you because of obesity, especially fatigue and mobility. But I also believe that much of the problem of obesity stems from complex and widely varied problems with our mental health. If you don't work on the mental aspect, being fit isn't the cure for your large waist line. I think--and you hear this a lot from health care professionals--that a comprehensive approach is best.

My pet peeve has always been people who talk about this or that diet or method while people with eating problems perk up and want to know every detail. There still seems to be the notion that there's a secret out there that will somehow easily solve why we're overweight. I'm sure there's not. You have to really examine yourself and find something that works for you--for the rest of your life.

I advocate for improving your fitness in whatever baby steps you can so you can relieve yourself of some or all of the problems associated with being very overweight. You may believe that the heart of your problems is your body image and that's not fixed until you become super-model-thin. But I'm here to tell you that getting strong and capable by things as simple as walking does wonders for your self-image and your self-esteem even while you still may be very overweight.

Start getting stronger in whatever way you can so you can start living your life again, right now. But simultaneously work on your eating as best you can, without looking for the quick and easy fix.

What I'm Currently Doing with My Eating

I'm not an eating expert, and I'm not even sure if what I'm doing is the right thing for me, let alone you, but I'll share with you what I'm currently doing.

Since I started a year ago, I haven't weighed myself (outside of a Tanita scale weigh in every couple of months at my clinic.) There have been a whack of scientific studies reported on in newspapers over the last few years that say regular "weigh-inners" are better at losing weight. However, I know how to lose weight. I've done it massively at different times in my life. That's not the problem.

The problem is changing my lifestyle permanently. So I'm trying to eat the least I can and still not be hungry. Because I weigh so much, I have a high caloric need (relatively speaking) and regular exercise helps too.

I'm trying to change what I eat and how much I eat. I'm attempting to do so organically and naturally. If I focus on the scale, I'll set myself up for eventual failure.

Permanent changes are a must.

More on this soon.

Eating Problem: I Don't Cook

Recently, I've been talking about "a thousand trees," referring to what seems to be countless little eating problems I appear to have that may have contributed to my getting obese. I've talked about the habit of allowing myself more than I need because something tastes good, for example. I think if you've got a serious weight problem, you'll identify with some of the problems I write about and maybe think of some of your own. You may or may not, however, identify with this one: I don't know how to cook.

Not cooking leads to more unhealthy choices like consuming processed foods (often high fat, high calorie) and fast food. It also prevents me from having good quality, satisfying meals. And it likely keeps healthy foods like vegetables out of my belly.

I was so bothered by this last summer, I made efforts to find someone to teach me basic cooking skills. I've come across this problem in other obese people as well. A lot of us can't cook and there's really no one to teach us as adults. I checked into basic cooking classes and as far as I can see, they don't exist in my area.

But I'm not a man who gives up easily. I've wanted to have a decent house to live in so over the past decade I taught myself how to renovate. A couple of books and hours watching home improvement shows helped me build upon basic skills I learned in high school woodworking class. But there are two things in high school I wish I had taken: auto mechanics and home ec (so I could cook.) It'd be nice to fix my own car then cook up a tasty meal!

I've tried watching The Food Network to see if it would rub off on me like the home renovation shows did but they don't teach basics. I am, however, quite inspired by watching them. They get me all worked up to try cooking dinner.

In the fall I made progress by getting over my fear of cooking meat. Instead of buying precooked hamburgers like I usually do, I finally tried cooking raw burgers on the barbecue. I have always worried that I would not cook them thoroughly and it would be gross and I'd make my family sick. Chalk it up to a minor phobia.

Since then, we've had the most obscenely delicious burgers at home, much better than the ones I've been choking down in the drive through line for most of my life. I make them how I like them, with old cheddar, red onions, mustard and relish. Oh, and lettuce, tomato and half fat mayo. We use PC brand Blue Menu lean burgers. We tried the Safeway version and they tasted like hockey pucks (and don't think I've never tasted a hockey puck.)

Tonight I boldly attempted to make a stir fry. I got the idea from watching my wife eat at a food court last week. I began watching YouTube videos on making a chicken stir fry with rice. It all seemed so easy and, like the reno viewing I did, I cross referenced different videos. You watch a bunch of videos on one subject and they begin to fill in the blanks (doubts or questions you may have.)

Cooking is big on the Internet so there's no shortage of info out there.

I get queezie about eating my own experimental cooking but what I made tonight was palatable. We decided the "Chinese style" soya sauce was a little different than your normal run of the mill soya sauce (don't ask me why) and it was a little off in flavour. But there I was chopping yellow onions, green onions, etc. using the rocker chopping method (thank you, Food Network!).

It's a baby step but it's a big one for me.

• Here's a short playlist of videos teaching basic cooking of a handful of foods.

What I Learned from my Morning Cup of Coffee

As I said in my thousand tree post from last week, there seems to be countless little problems I have with eating. My obesity is like a plane crash: there's not just one thing that led me here, there's a series of problems that made it happen. Maybe there's a thousand little problems that got me to almost 2.5 times my ideal body weight.

Taking the Craving Change class several months ago has helped me become aware of the many little problems food and I have in our relationship. Although much of these minor revelations happen sporadically over a long period of time. Nonetheless, I'm learning, albeit slowly.

So as you may have heard, I've been brewing a really good cup of coffee at home in the mornings (with a single cup coffee maker) and have eliminated my Tim Horton's/McDonald's coffee ritual. Usually I have one regular sized cup of coffee and look forward to it each morning.

When I was enjoying a particularly good cup the other morning, I had a typically-unhelpful self-nurturing thought. I thought it was a really amazing cup of coffee, therefore I must brew a second one. I didn't need a second one, I just felt that I deserved to experience more pleasure. If some pleasure is good, more must be better, right? Not always the case with food. We start losing that level of pleasure as we eat more.

I suspect people without eating problems will enjoy their cup of coffee, rave about it maybe, but they know something tasting good isn't a license to over-indulge. I know that cup will be there tomorrow, just as good.  It's a Keurig, so it's foolproof. But there's a voice inside me that regularly tells me to have more when something is good. Or maybe when I'm having a crappy day. Or maybe because my sports team lost. Or who knows the number of reasons I have to impulsively overeat?

I should keep a list.