Sep 23, 2011
It's My Party, I'll Binge If I Want To (Updated)
But one thing I (vaguely) realise now, post-class, is that some of us, if not all of us with eating problems, want every day to be our birthday. We nurture ourselves with food. We want to feel like we did on birthdays, holidays, other special occasions or happy times. It gets ingrained into us and we forget why we're doing it.
I suspect there was starting point a long, long time ago with me. Maybe it was a week after my birthday. Or a week after a New Years party I attended as a kid when I decided, "I"ll eat these chips and dip and it'll be fun, just like that party." Then I'd keep doing it, eventually forgetting where the context came from but the feelings remained.
On my birthday I entitle myself to the worst foods. Fast food breakfast, pizza for supper and all the cake I can eat before I feel sick.
This year I'm going eat a normal supper and not reward myself with food. There will be cake but it will be Angel Food.
But the icing will be chocolate. Let's not get crazy.
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UPDATE: It felt good to not overdo it on my birthday for once. Eating healthy and keeping up with my exercise (I walked and jogged) on my birthday made me feel extra good. Today is the day for me, for my life. What I do today is what I do for my life and how I want to live. I would recommend the same for others who are working at improving their health. If you're going to indulge, I would even suggest doing it the day after or the day before. There's something greatly symbolic about doing the right thing on your birthday. At least that's how I felt today.
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