If I Had Cancer Would I Fight It?

I'd like to think that if I had cancer, I'd fight it. Especially now that I have kids. But here's the thing. I have a chronic, ultimately fatal disease that I didn't fight for a decade: obesity. What made me not want to fight for all those years? And will I once again, one day, throw in the towel?

One reason for not fighting it is because obesity doesn't spread uncontrollably like cancer can. If I put off fighting obesity until next month, there's a good chance I'll be fine. But you can use that excuse day after day, week after week until you fall off the face of the Earth at a premature age. Some people may think I'm a bit dramatic with my talk of death but obesity does kill you eventually.

With some people it can be at a very early age. A nurse friend of mine works in a cardiac unit and sees plenty of obese people at death's door. One woman was just 35 when she died of her obesity. When I was in my late twenties I thought that was going to be my fate so I did something about it. But only a few years after that, I once again stopped fighting.

Recent studies paint a rather grim picture for those suffering from obesity. Scientists are understanding that people who lose weight have many processes in their bodies that conspire to gain the weight back. Formerly overweight bodies become efficient at burning calories, possibly 20 percent fewer than another person of the same gender, weight and height. Their bodies are able to conserve calories while exerting the same amount of effort and people's bodies tell them to eat more than they need.

Canadian obesity expert Dr. Arya M. Sharma believes that few people beat obesity long term because the deck is stacked against them. If someone has their stomach reduced with surgery, they tend to gain all their weight back if the surgery is reversed. In order to maintain your weight loss you have to do what you did to lose the weight--forever. That's very difficult to do. You have to be obsessive about exercising and calorie counting permanently.

So science tells us that obesity is a chronic, ultimately fatal disease with no cure, just treatments. The treatment is diet and exercise but the treatment has to continue or the patient will deteriorate. But what if I had a different chronic disease? There are many chronic illnesses that have less effective treatments than obesity does, or no treatments at all. Perhaps I should consider myself lucky because counting calories and exercising isn't all that bad compared to what some people have to deal with who have other chronic diseases.

Even if we are thin, exercise is something we all should be doing our whole lives. I recently saw a news story on a 90+ year-old body builder. He was ripped! Exercising as we age wards off the effects of old age and has countless benefits no matter what our weight is. I shouldn't complain about exercise as a treatment for my illness because I should be doing it anyway.

So to successfully battle this disease I will have to become an exercise fanatic, a crazy person obsessed with exercise and watching every thing I put into my mouth. It's going to be very hard and I'm going to need ongoing support. But it could be worse. Exercising and watching what I eat isn't the most difficult treatment for a chronic disease. And unlike treatments for some other chronic diseases, this treatment is 100% effective if kept up.

I'll just count myself lucky that I have this chronic disease and not something with more difficult or less effective treatments. And I'll continue to believe in myself and hope for the best. What other choice do I have?

Why You Shouldn't Be Scared of Jogging

There's two main things I got out of watching obesity reality shows: An insight into the mental dysfunction it takes to become severely obese, and that the obese body is every bit capable of exercise as any healthy body. It may take longer, but if you make your body move, it adapts in a remarkable fashion for the next time it might have to do the same thing.

If all you can do is walk to the nearest lamp post, do it. Do it a few times then start walking a few steps further each day. You'll find your body is adapting and probably building the muscle necessary to complete the task.

With me, I could walk about twenty minutes when I started getting fit this time. I thought that was all I could do until I saw people twice my weight doing more, including jogging. So I almost doubled my walking time that I do every day and I was perfectly fine.

In my late twenties, when I first got fit and lost a great deal of weight, I cycled a lot and, after I lost about 40 pounds, started jogging. Much to my surprise I liked it. Hell, I loved it. It was so empowering to think that the lifelong fat guy could jog. But mostly I liked the endorphins that my body released when I exercised at a little higher intensity. I became an endorphins junkie. I can tell you that "runner's high" is very real. Maybe not everyone gets it easily, but I did.

It was big morale boost for me to be able to ride my bicycle a few times this month, but jogging--or as the kids these days call it: "running"--seems like the last frontier of exercise to conquer. I jogged for about ten seconds during my walk one night to see what would happen. I didn't die.

Earlier this month I would occasionally (not every night) start jogging for about thirty seconds after I got well into my walk. If I went any further I'd get severely out of breath and that doesn't seem safe to me. But, as any expert will tell you, all you have to do is jog for a little while (usually 90 seconds at first) and then walk for a couple of minutes to rest up, then repeat. That's called 'walking to run.' It's how most people start a jogging program if they're not already fit.

Ninety seconds is too much for me right now. I'm too out of shape and too heavy. My rule of thumb is to jog until I can't any more because I'm out of breath or my legs are too fatigued. At first it was 30 seconds, but now it's a minute, and today I did five minutes of a very slow trot on the treadmill at my clinic. Treadmills are a little easier than running in the real world because the side walk is moving for you. The remedy for that is to raise the incline of the treadmill up slightly to just 1%. That compensates for the moving walking surface.

It feels good to jog and it feels good to sweat. It's a self esteem boost and anything that helps me get out and exercise is important. I can see myself jogging for ten minutes later this year as part of my walks, but just not on consecutive days.

I hurt my knee when jogging when I got in shape fifteen years ago. Injury is possible but it's rare and you have to use common sense. If you're middle aged like me and or if you're quite heavy, taking a day off between jogs is important to help your body recover and get strong again. The compulsivity and risk taking behaviour that got me obese in the first place caused me to jog too much, too often and when my knee began to hurt, I didn't stop because I was looking for my endorphins fix.

It took a few months to heal and I really hated stopping jogging for that long. I've learned my lesson though. My knees are doing just fine these days. Four months ago they'd hurt just by walking up the stairs in my house. But my body has since greatly adapted to exercise.

Here's to good health!

50 Pounds

Nicole and her diet/fitness guru co-worker

My friend Nicole lost fifty pounds and was pictured on Facebook holding up a 50 pound bag of giant carrots to illustrate the significance of her achievement. She lives in Toronto but I live in a smaller city where I suspect it's more difficult to find 50 pound bags of giant carrots. Frankly, I don't know why they exist. Perhaps for feeding your horse.

Or maybe eating jumbo carrots is how Nicole lost fifty pounds, I don't know. I didn't ask.

I tried to figure out what large fifty pound object I could hold up for a photo to illustrate the 51 pounds of fat I shed in the last four months. I couldn't think of anything interesting so I looked around the house until I found something suitable, then I made a short video, because a picture doesn't do it justice.



Update: I came across a fifty pound bag of carrots by accident in a grocery store that caters to restaurants. Each member of my family lifted the bag and couldn't believe that that much left me.

More on Weight Loss Television Shows

Before and after pictures of two participants of Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition (ABC)

I continue to be inspired by watching other very obese people access their inner athlete and transform themselves into healthy, smaller people. I'm still amazed at how capable the obese body is at becoming athletic. I still challenge my own perceptions of what I am currently capable of when I watch these shows. And I continue to be counselled by seeing the common emotional dysfunction I share with each of these people. Last night I jogged a bit, only because I saw other people heavier than me doing it. And I can do it. It's just going to happen slowly, but I never would have tried if I weren't inspired by watching others on TV.

The current obesity weight loss show that is on the air is Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition. Super-obese subjects spend a year transforming themselves with the help of trainer Chris Powell. He claims to live with the subjects for the first three months, changing their eating habits and teaching them how to work out (for five hours per day!). However, I don't know how that's possible from a TV production standpoint. (He'd have to spend a year with just four subjects and there are eight in this current season.)

The show only lightly touches on how they do the transformations. All of fifteen seconds of an episode is devoted to a nutritionist cooking up a healthy alternative to the subject's favourite unhealthy meal. Through one of the subject's public Facebook page, I came across an interview with the nutritionist who works with the obese people on the series.

Paullette Lambert (right) teaches an EMWLE client how to make a healthy meal

What struck me were her comments about many of the subjects not being able to cook their own food. As a result they weren't getting healthy vegetables in their meals. That's something I identify with and see as a problem I have.

She also said not to drink your calories, something I've long been aware of and have stopped doing years ago in spite of my ever-increasing weight. But some people drink the equivalent of a five pound bag of sugar in a week through pop or fruit drinks.

Fast food is also a common problem: too high a calorie count in relatively small volumes of food, and no vegetables or fruit included. Fast food is a huge issue for me. I'm making healthier choices when I go there now, and I'm including a side salad with my meals, but I'm still hooked on going to the damned places.

The subjects of Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition were allowed the calories that a normal adult needs (approx 1600 for woman and 2000 or so for men.) But the subjects exercised for five hours per day and their caloric needs were upwards of 6000 because of their large size. A 3500 calorie deficit is a pound of fat loss. Some were losing a pound or more per day in the first few months. The nutritionist for the show recommends a normal caloric intake and doing an hour of exercise per day, but less is also very beneficial and would achieve weigh loss.

I have a hard time doing much more than a half hour of exercise per day before my joints get sore, but it's working for me. Four months ago I was, for all intents and purposes, disabled. Today I'm a new man, doing things I never thought I would do again.

The night before last I pulled my three-year-old daughter in a bike trailer. For the last six years I watched my wife take the kids in that thing and never even imagined I would one day be capable of doing it. Even when I started to improve my physical capabilities this spring, I didn't foresee something like this happening this summer.

Discovering I am capable of jogging, and riding a bike--something I've loved all my life--has been a huge emotional boost for me. It's broken down the perception I had of myself and what is possible for me in my future.

What is Nike Plus and why is it useful for someone like me?

A Nike+ sensor in a Nike+ shoe

I like to listen to music while I exercise. (On a treadmill, I go about 20% faster with music in my ears!) When I kicked obesity the first time, in 1996, there were few options for carrying music with you while you walked or jogged. The tape Walkman was history and the Sony Discman that played CDs was vulnerable to skipping when it was shaken. Then came MP3 players and eventually, the ubiquitous iPod.

I bought an iPod Touch a couple of years ago with the intention of using it when I exercised. I never really exercised, however, until recently. It comes with an app called Nike Plus or "Nike+." It requires the purchase of a small sensor that is to be placed in any "Nike+" runner (in a special cutout under the insole.) However, you can purchase third party holders for the sensor and attach it to the shoe laces on any brand of running shoe. It sends a signal automatically to your iPod Touch. Other iPods need a extra part that attaches at the bottom of the iPod to receive the signal.

On the surface, this product seemed geared towards hardcore runners, but I've found it very useful for my weight loss walking routine.

Two different screen captures from the Nike Plus iPod app

The Nike Plus app plays your music (an exercise playlist, for example) and gives you voice prompts automatically or manually as you exercise. You can program it for a 3 KM walk, for example, and it will tell you when you're half way and count down your final stretch. It also gives you messages from celebrity athletes congratulating/motivating you when you achieve goals or surpass your previous fastest pace or longest 'run.'

There are several functions of the Nike Plus system that I find useful. One is pace. I can see how my body is feeling by what pace of walking I'm at. If I'm tired or my body hasn't recovered from previous exercise, I can see my pace fall below normal. I can use pace to motivate me to go a bit harder and I can compare my pace over time to see how it changes.

3rd party Nike+ sensor holder can be used on any shoe

Secondly, it sends your data to NikeRunning.com where you get a free account. This acts as an exercise diary so you can keep track of your exercise (distance, pace, length of time, time of day) over weeks or months. All you have to do is click "send to Nike" on your iPod and it's taken care of for you.

Thirdly, your "runs" can be viewed publicly on NikeRunning.com or even posted automatically to Facebook and or Twitter. Publicly disclosing your exercise makes you accountable to 'running friends' or to friends and family in general. Friends can congratulate you and encourage you to continue.

Another feature I like is the mapping function on their web site. You can draw a route in your neighbourhood on Google Maps and see how far it is. I drew my current route and found it was about 2.5 KM. But I want to try other routes for variety so I draw different variations and find routes of the same length around my home.

A "run" displayed on the NikeRunning.com web site

All told, it's another tool that you might find useful for exercise motivation. A link to my NikePlus page is on the right column of this blog.

Even though you can calibrate it for walking, Nike Plus still calls all exercise sessions "runs."

In Canada, the sensors cost $25 at running stores and holders cost between $5 and $10. The sensors last about a year before the battery dies and the unit has to be replaced. If you don't have an iPod Touch or iPhone, make sure you buy the "kit" for your iPod that has a receiver on it.

Review: New High Fibre Kraft Dinner

Like many fat people, my diet growing up consisted of tasty, easy to prepare processed foods. When they invented Kraft Dinner, it immediately found it's way into my regular meals. It was easy to prepare and tasted great. What kid doesn't like mac and cheese?

Like other overweight kids, I could eat a whole box by myself. And I did. I ate hundreds of boxes of it in my lifetime. Even during my first weight loss/fitness transformation I ate it every other night as my supper meal. I'd prepare it with half fat margarine and skim milk. Instead of normal ketchup, I used spicy ketchup so I'd use less of it and give some pizazz to my one meal of the day.

It may be hard to believe, but when you're starving yourself to lose weight, KD can seem like a surprisingly nice reward at the end of the day. (I know better now not to starve myself too much, but to eat a larger number of small meals.)

We still eat Kraft Dinner in my family. With two young kids, it's an easy way out when having to come up with lunch on weekends or even a supper meal when we're desperate for time or ideas. Recently they've released Smart Kraft Dinner, made with vegetable (cauliflower) flour. The package is only 3/4 the weight of other KDs and makes smaller portions. I didn't mind the taste and my family has adopted it.

But yesterday I found this near the floor of my Walmart KD section: "High Fibre Smart Kraft Dinner." It's 200 grams (unprepared) like normal KD (other Smart KD is 150 grams.) It's got a whopping 5 grams of fibre per serving. That means, if a fatboy like me were to eat a whole box, he'd be getting 20 grams of fibre with his 760 calories!

I'm happy to report that it tastes no different than normal KD. The only thing different is a more pale colour due to their wise omission of artificial colours and preservatives--which I think is great.

The extra fibre seems to come from oat hull fibre and chicory root.

My wife suspects it costs more and I regret not checking the price before I bought it (I assumed it was priced the same as other Kraft Dinner, and it may be.) But I would gladly pay a little more for this product.

UPDATE: It costs the same as other Kraft Dinner varieties.

Weight Loss / Obesity Reality TV Shows

Chris Powell (right) works with a client on ABC's Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition

My apologies to TV lovers everywhere, but I've never enjoyed reality TV. I blame the fact that my education and work experience has been in film and television. I always feel like I'm being manipulated because I "see through" the techniques they use to contrive drama and conflict. You may be surprised to know that I never became a regular viewer of a reality show.

Jamie Oliver shows the amount of sugar in chocolate milk.

Then along came Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution in the spring of 2010. He went into school food programs in the most obese part of American and tried to educate and transform what the State was feeding our kids. He was passionate and unstoppable. I watched with the family to educate my kids about the dangers of obesity. All too often, I saw myself and my family's eating habits portrayed, mostly through the high consumption of fast food and processed foods. No one seems to cook any more. Oliver wants us to question what we're eating and where our food comes from.

The show returned this season and once again my family watched eagerly. During it I saw commercials for Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition. This was occurring during the time I was beginning to work harder changing my lifestyle through daily walking and restricting my overeating. I caved and watched an episode.

Heavy (A&E)

Since then, I've devoured ALL of the episodes and, on the advice of my nutritionist, also viewed every episode of Heavy from A&E, a similar show but more of a documentary than a reality series. From these viewings I've gained tremendous inspiration and knowledge. Not knowledge on the secrets of losing weight, but knowledge of what it means to be fat.

There's something about seeing a four or five hundred pound person transform themselves every week, over and over and over, young, old, man, woman. You begin to believe that it's possible to do the same. Maybe you don't need to work out four or five hours per day but you see what's possible: that the human body that is that way, doesn't have to be that way.

Watching these shows is like AA for the fat person who's out of control. You don't get to vent your own problems, but you always see yourself in the subjects of these shows and you can identify with their struggles. Every new person brings a trait that I see in myself. Few of these traits are flattering.

You see sad, pathetic traits in others (a childish helplessness is one common trait I've noticed) and you begin to hold a mirror up to yourself. I don't see myself very often, but I do when I watch these shows.

I wish I could watch a new show every week to reset my inspiration. These people, after all, are usually much worse off than me. Almost all the men are a hundred pounds more than me, some practically double my weight. The question posed by these shows is: if they can do it, why can't I?

Soon after I started watching, I doubled my daily exercise time because I realized it was possible that I could do more. The most inspiring episodes are when someone my age (in the mid-forties) or older does a transformation. I had transformed myself before at age 28, but I had come to believe it was no longer possible. I know now that it is possible at almost any age.

Boiled down to one thing, these unscripted obesity programs show that the human body is remarkable. And so is the human mind, which is most certainly at the center of every morbidly obese person's illness.

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Links:

A & E's "Heavy" (all episodes available online)

Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition

A setback, a pause, a chance to come down to earth, a reminder

Today I don't have the energy to get out of bed for very long. I'm sick with something flu-like. The two previous days were filled with fever, aches and exhaustion. Today I'm on the mend but I lack energy, have some aches and pains, a feeling of not being well, and the inability to be active in any significant way. I hate being sick, but I'm feeling no different today really than I did on a typical day four months ago due to my obesity.

Before I got sick I was on Cloud 9, my feet never touching the ground it seemed, having just accomplished two significant bike rides and increasing the length of my walks while beginning to implement very short intervals of jogging (only 30 seconds before my cardiovascular got revving too high.) I couldn't wait for my next exercise session and was looking forward to my first alone workouts at my clinic's gym facility.

It's given me a chance to reflect but it's hard to stop even for a day when you're thriving on your accomplishments.

Introduction: My Tipping Point

Six months ago, in December 2010 when I was 44 years old, I saw my doctor for a check-up. My blood pressure was up slightly and he told me to go get in shape or go on the pills. He said he could give me six months to make some changes but most people don't so I might as well go on the meds now. I agreed. I couldn't see myself reversing my lifestyle now or ever. I had given up.

But he said there wasn't much he could "give me shit for." My cholesterol was perfect, and so was my blood sugar. A few years ago he suggested that when I came to see him in ten years I'd be testing positive for diabetes. Yet he had little to shock me with to make me change my ways. He couldn't say, "If you don't do this, you'll be dead in two years."

During my forty year physical my doctor actually brought up gastric bypass surgery. I was dead against making any unnatural changes to my body. Ten years earlier I had lost 125 pounds and became quite fit. Armed with this knowledge of how to go from obese to fit (that it was possible and I knew exactly how to do it) I hated the idea of gastric bypass surgery.

Four years later I was asking for it. I had given up. I didn't think myself capable as a middle aged man to be able to make any significant changes. Six months earlier I had tried my treadmill every other day but lost no weight or inches. I stopped exercising and decided I had to get a grip on my eating problem first. It never happened.

I found myself feeling helpless, spiralling into ever-worsening problems with my weight. I laid in bed most of the day because I was too tired or sore to spend much time up and about. I ate supper on a recliner in front of the TV, and because I burned little or no calories from moving, my weight continued to increase even though I thought I was making small improvements to my over-eating. I lost confidence that I could ever change on my own.

The fact was, I reached a point where I couldn't move much and did less and less every day. Doing less caused me to gain more body fat, which in turn caused me to move even less. I felt like I was on a slippery slope. Things were out of my control and I was helpless. This scared me. I foresaw a continuation of weight gain and a ever-increasing sedentary lifestyle. I felt at risk of dying at any moment. At best, there were only years left in my life instead of decades.

I have young children. They're only three and seven. They need their daddy. I lost mine when I was 20 and it was hard even at that age. I knew that me dying in their childhood would cause them pain and maybe even some dysfunction throughout their lives. I started writing notes to my children in case I died, telling them that I loved them and that I was sorry. I made sure there were pictures of me with them. I smiled with my most loving expression in the event that that photograph was all they had to remember me by.

I couldn't participate in all things my family did. I couldn't play with my kids. The best I could muster was reading them stories while I lay in bed. And I couldn't work, even acting jobs were becoming increasingly difficult and humiliating when I tried to perform the most basic tasks.

At my December check-up my doctor told me he was now against gastric bypass/lap band surgery. He had patients get it done and then revert back to their old eating habits. My last hope, most desperate option wasn't even there for me any longer.

My doctor suggested I sign up for a class that my progressive medical clinic offered twice per year. I had heard of the class when I was treated for an anxiety disorder three years ago by a free counsellor available to me through my remarkable clinic but I didn't pursue it. THIS was my new last chance. I said yes.

Two months later I met with my nutritionist in advance of the six week, once per week class beginning. I was to meet with her on a regular basis and she would offer me advice, help me create doable eating goals and be someone for me to be accountable to as I progressed. I see her once per month.

She encouraged me to start exercising as well--anything to get started. I began walking my daughter to her preschool twice per week at the beginning of March. It required four 8-minute walks through the icy streets in  late winter and they exhausted me.

But soon I was walking 20 minutes a night in a loop around my neighbourhood and things started to change rapidly.

Four months into my work, I'm a new person. I feel like I've shed a major disability and am a fully functioning person again, doing things I never thought I would do again in this life. And it's really not that hard. This blog will document my personal journey so that I can inspire and educate others who are in the position I was only 12 weeks ago.

First Bike Ride with Family

My first very short test runs in my neighbourhood were conducted under the cover of darkness I struggled going half way down the block on my wife's ill-fitting mountain bike and conducting several seat tests on my newly-refurbished hybrid bike. Tonight we set forth in front of God and my neighbours, including the weird one down the block with a large analogue clock hanging in her picture window.

I felt conspicuous and awkward, although less than I would have before my adventure with my son yesterday. With my wife towing my three year old daughter in a bike trailer, and my son on his bike, we hit the three corners of Uplands (the city subdivision I live in.)

It was a very enjoyable 45 minute ride as the sun set over the houses in this prairie town. I was a lot more relaxed this time, and halfway through my ride, I realized I felt like I normally do on my bike: completely at ease, in control and not exceedingly huge.

Maybe I wasn't. My son yelled from behind me, "Hey Daddy, you look smaller. Your back looks smaller!"

I arrived home confident and unashamed, looking to dismount gracefully in front of my neighbours. However, my foot got stuck on my saddle during the dismount and I almost pulled a muscle trying to save face.

Oh well, screw them. I don't see any of them biking!

"How do you know if you're working hard enough to have a good workout?"

This was a question David Letterman asked Richard Simmons a number of years ago on his late night TV show.

Simmons' answer: "When your underwear is soaking wet."

He was serious and I think he's right.

A dream came true for me today, although there were moments that seemed like a nightmare

Four summers ago my son started riding a two wheeler bike with training wheels (he skipped tricycles all together.) He must have picked up on my love of bikes because he rode and rode and rode that thing. Once he rode several kilometers to my mother's house as I walked with him to the point of exhaustion.

But he saw my bike hanging in the garage with the helmet attached and frequently asked why I never rode with him. "I can't," I'd say. "Daddy's too unhealthy."

So for four years it was a dream of mine to ride my bike with my son. A dream that I thought wasn't any more attainable than owning my own tropical island. A few weeks ago it became a goal, but not for this year. Then I found myself in a bike shop asking to replace my bent wheel with a stronger one and a larger more cushiony tire. Later, I tried out some plush seats, taking one back to the store and finding a better one. Suddenly, my bike was ready to go, but I wasn't. I felt I was too heavy to ride a bike with thin rims like mine.

I was still 350 pounds at my last weigh in. I had lost fat and became smaller, but my overall mass didn't go down much and that didn't help get me any closer to my goal. I tried riding my wife's mountain bike but it was so wrong for me that I almost gave up on the dream of cycling completely.

One night recently, after the sun had set, I nervously set out on my newly-refurbished bike to see if it were possible. I zoomed along like I was riding on air. So much better for me was my hybrid bike (a cross between a mountain bike and a road bike) that it had almost seemed effortless. Yet I was still tentative and when challenged, my legs seemed really weak and muscle pain came easy. I didn't go far. I also was very tense, fearing my wheel would cave in.

I did one session of training at my clinic's gym yesterday to strengthen my legs for cycling and my arms to support my weight as I leaned forward on a bike. After a night's rest, I decided to give cycling a try with my son. He likes exploring, so first I tried to find a stretch of abandoned highway. I couldn't find one so I decided to go on bike path in a newer part of the city that no one in the family had ever tried. It was to be an adventure.

I tried to prepare my son by telling him I didn't think I could go very far or for very many minutes. He seemed to understand, but he's only seven. I put his bike in the minivan and strapped mine to the roof. We headed to the other end of town and I parked near the pathway on a residential street.

I was very apprehensive and worried that I'd disappoint my boy. But we set out and things went okay at first. People greeted us regularly. My perineum had been bothering me and I was worried it wouldn't hold for very long. I was sweating and tense and after a few minutes I asked to stop at a park bench.

We continued through the beautiful park on this cool summer day with lots of clouds. I spent a lot of time coasting past my son because my heavy weight gave me a lot of momentum going down hills. We explored as I chased after him. He completely forgot I had limitations and after a while, so did I.

The path was confusing because there were constant forks in it. We eventually got to the end where there was an artificial marsh in a park area. This is a more affluent part of the city and there's amazing play structures every few yards it seemed.

As we were headed back, we weren't quite sure where were were going. I over-exerted myself and became a bit aloof in my concentration. I was going too fast approaching a walking bridge and had to slam on the brakes to avoid hitting some large rocks. I skidded on sand and crashed. I thought I wrecked my bike but it was fine. I didn't care about me so much because I have free health care, my bike doesn't not, and I have no money to fix it.

I dusted myself off and walked for a while to get my bearings and see if I could recognize where we were. It didn't seem familiar and we thought we were lost. Storm clouds were moving in and I discovered my cell phone was dead.

Where we were lost, minus the storm clouds.

My son, the mapwhiz, found a sign with a map on it and figured out where we were before I did. A moment earlier we were lost and worried. He felt like he saved the day and his mood got even brighter than it had been. We had bonded more in those few minutes of desperation than we had since at any one time since his birth.

After 10.5 kilometers, I've never been so happy to see my stinking 1998 minivan. I pedaled even harder to get to her sooner.

Lessons Learned

Bring more water. I thought a small water bottle from a grocery store would do. It did not. I had to suck on some of my son's water. A proper bike water bottle needs to be purchased.

Find a way to wear a sweatband under my helmet. My eyes had sweat in them constantly and it was irritating.

My GPS might have been handy if I recorded the route so we could retrace it.

I got a mosquito bite on my back and I wish I had a back scratcher in the worst way.

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This has been a Canada Day I won't soon forget.