The 2XL Shirt at the End of the Rainbow

A 5XL Shirt (courtesy the Internet)

Oh, the lofty goal of "2XL." Why is 2XL significant to the severely overweight male? It's because you can walk into most stores these days and buy that size off the shelf. You would shop like, you know, a normal person would shop.

With each X comes two clothing sizes, or 4 inches on the chest usually. I had got up to 5XL a year and a half ago and I was running out of Xs. Even the Big 'n' Fat stores didn't sell beyond 5XL, at least not in my city. Some U.S. stores online go beyond that. I always was a bit surprised by that since it was so easy to get to 5XL, but then I wondered if people just didn't die off anyway before they outgrew that size.

People, including medical professionals, ask me the big question: What was it that got you to finally do something? That's the million dollar question, isn't it? Running out of Xs was one of the reasons, I suppose. That and getting to a point where I was gaining weight and doing less. Part of a viscous cycle where I lost all control, even when I tried. I saw a downward spiral that would end badly.

My crazy dream was to fit into a 2XL shirt one day. I could walk into a store one day and pick out a shirt I liked then select something from the back of the rack with two Xs on it. 2XL seems SO tiny, so everyday, so...healthy. So much a bloody fantasy.

Well I'm here. I arrived earlier this month. And it's not what it I expected. I'm still huge. The fact is, 2XL is still very big. Being 2XL is by no means a healthy size. I was mad at retailers for not catering to the large, but they do. 2XL is for very overweight people. Most men don't go beyond 2XL.

I know clothing sizes are becoming larger as our population as a whole gains weight, but I was still surprised that my current size fits into most 2XL tops. There are a lot of people who haven't even noticed I've lost any weight at all. I'm pretty sure I've lost at least 100 pounds of fat (I've gained a tremendous amount of muscle just from moving my body so my overall weight may not quite be down by 100 pounds yet, but my size certainly is.)

I've had relatives say, "You should probably lose some weight." Um, are you blind? Is a person so large at 5XL that one hundred pounds of fat is not noticeable?

A year ago, when my exercise counselor at the time cautioned me that the human body will work against me to gain weight back and wanted me to temper my weight loss goals, I told her that I didn't want to be thin like so many overweight people do. I told her I wanted to be 2XL; I wanted to just be healthy. I had little vanity in my goals since I was happily married with kids and not planning an affair.

But now I must revise my goals. 2XL is just a point on the journey. It's nice to buy "regular clothes" and feel like you're more a part of society, but it's still way too big. Although the good feelings of going from 5XL to 2XL are indescribable and many, my motivation now is to lose weight so I can do more.

I've had a lot of fun and really started to live my life since I got in shape. But I want more. I don't want the weight of excess body fat to hold me back. As my son--my partner in adventure--gets into his tweens now, he's doing more and I want to keep up to him.

But at least now, I can stop worrying about the letter X.