Why Seeing Obese Children Bothers Me

I get bothered when I see overweight children, particularly bothered, I presume, because I know what it was like to be them. Instinctively, I want to blame the parents even though I have no way of knowing if they voluntarily contributed to the problem.

Research has long been talked about in newspapers and on television programs that show maternal obesity and smoking are risk factors for childhood obesity. But what I always imagine in my mind is parents being stupid and feeding their children excess calories and abandoning them in front of TV sets and video games.

When I became a parent eight years ago, I wanted to know things about parenting. Most people nowadays pick up a book or two to prepare themselves to be better parents to their children than their parents were to them. It wasn't hard to come across information that doctors and researchers believe calorie-laden beverages, including fruit juices, are not a good idea for children to consume on a regular basis. I occasionally see toddlers sucking on a Coke and it's as disconcerting a sight to me as seeing a pregnant woman smoking.

I desperately want my kids not to be overweight. For starters, it's a health issue but it's also the psychological aspect. And for me it's not the school yard taunting that most people assume happens to fat kids because that didn't happen very much to me and when it did, I wasn't traumatized by it. I guess it's more the feeling left behind and the prejudices that come with being overweight.

My father smoked until I was five and then had a heart attack that scared him straight. Most of the next fifteen  years I lived in fear of him dying until he did when I was twenty. Smoking likely contributed to his early death and during his last fifteen years he begged his kids not to smoke. None of us three boys ever did. For years I refused to even pretend to smoke as an actor. I refused to put a real cigarette to my mouth, in honour of my father.

So my parental issue is obesity and I am adamant about not contributing negatively to my children's health. So far so good, but it's been challenging. We have spent far too much time at fast food restaurants or eating prepared and processed foods. I do, however, allow my kids to be active and encourage outdoor activity without stressing about unreasonable fears for their safety.

I take it quite personally when I see an obese child. I think to myself, rightly or wrongly, "Well that kid is screwed." and I think that the parents let her or him down. I know it's a very negative reaction but it's how I react.

My mother did things that could have affected my obesity yet it's not really possible to know if she should be blamed completely. She was a nurse who was and is always worried about what other people think of her. I was born several weeks early and they let her bring me home from the hospital before I reached five pounds because she was a nurse. The first night at home, she fed me solid food so I'd gain weight and she wouldn't look incompetent to her co-workers. That's a no-no and they knew that back then but my mother began trying to fatten me up from day one.

She also didn't breast feed me, which was more common back then but now we know it reduces the risk of obesity and is helpful in so many other ways. In fact recent studies show that it is beneficial for mothers to breast feed as long as they can. Two years and beyond is a good target from what I keep reading.

My mother insisted on feeding and feeding me. A thin child was a sickly and embarrassing child. Even now she complains about how fat I am in one breath and then complains how my children aren't eating enough in the next. She's 85, sure, but she should know better.

I'm particularly bothered when I see very overweight toddlers. There are several overweight kids in my daughter's preschool that aren't even five years old yet. One girl has the appearance of having breasts because she's so overweight. I would guess that some kids weigh almost twice as much as others of the same height. If they have this problem now, it's only gong to get worse when they become adults and their activity level slows down.

There was a story in the news recently of a child being taken away from their parents due to the parents clearly being at fault for the child's poor diet. I hate to see any kid have to face this disease if it's not necessary. We need more education and more support for parents. Giving a tax break for putting your kid in hockey isn't going to solve the problem.