The Problem of Halloween Binging

I had to be careful what picture I chose for this blog post. Many pictures of Halloween candy, chocolate in particular, set off a physiological response in me. I equate it to seeing a...I don't know, fertile member of the opposite sex. Something changes in you if your brain thinks they'd be genetically-suitable to assist you in proliferating your genes throughout the species, to put it politely. Perhaps your heart rate increases, perhaps adrenaline is released.

Chocolate does the same thing to me. Even if you are one of those freaks who don't like chocolate, you probably have an equivalent food porn. You look at that food and your whole body readies itself for it, wants to know how it's going to get it and how much of it it can have. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you don't have an eating problem and you can go home now.

Last night my family watched part of a documentary on child slave labour used in the harvesting of cocoa. I barely showed concern. I watched people on the streets of the UK being shown chocolate that may have been  produced with child labour and all I could think about was the sweet, sweet chocolate. When they gave chocolate bars to the African cocoa workers to try for the first time in their lives it was like heroin was entering their veins. Their eyes almost rolled back.

My impulsive and reckless eating tendencies are no help when I'm presented with chocolate Halloween candy. Years of telling myself it's okay to have more than one, or have more than ten, or keep eating until my stomach feels uncomfortably full have led to me being trained to do the wrong thing.

Retraining myself could take a long time and a lot of work but I did learn a few things in my Craving Change workshop that may help. Just being aware of this dysfunction helps. As along as I don't conveniently turn off my brain when I encounter chocolate, I should be okay.

We don't buy candy to give out on Halloween until the afternoon of. That's how much I can't be trusted. Who knows how many thousands of calories of chocolate I'm capable of consuming in one feeding frenzy but it's probably enough to add significant ounces of fat too my body and cause me to be sickly and moody afterwards. (Tip: My nutritionist only gives out candy she hates to eat.)

The other problem of course is the candy my two kids come home with. They're not very aggressive on Halloween and they still come back with a truck load of sugary treats. Two solutions I've heard involve limiting the amount they can eat and giving the rest to a food bank (although, when you think about it, even food bank users' children probably have lots of candy available to them from trick-or-treating.)

Throwing it out seems wrong but so does putting it all in your body. A dietician in the Globe and Mail wrote that you could celebrate Halloween Week by making up several treat bags with the days of the week written on them, hand them out one per day and discard the rest.

My kids are getting a bit older every year and a bit more aggressive in their candy harvesting on Halloween. I used to actually take some of the candy they brought back midway through their evening and give it out to other kids. A good idea, but it didn't stop me from binging on it or the candy it replaced.

And now a disturbing video I made of myself eating Halloween candy a few years ago. I can't remember if it's work-safe but I'm pretty sure it is (I don't want to watch it again to find out!)

Update: To test my fragile willpower, I'm not going to have one single piece of candy until I get up the morning after Halloween. I'm not cutting out candy completely, just for one day to see if I can do it. So far, I have a slight case of the shakes.

Losing Weight is Futile: Experts

There have been a lot of studies in the news the last few years that seem to say that dieting/weight-loss is futile. Scientists now know that the body works against us after weight loss to regain the weight. It sends hormones out to tell us we're hungry when we're not and it works way more efficiently than it did before. We turn from Hummers into Hybrids, to use a car analogy. It's a cruel fact of nature of which there is no medical way thus far to address it.

The solution? Some say you have to do what you did to lose weight all the time. If that means you were  hungry all the time when you lost weight then you have to be hungry all the time for the rest of your life to maintain it. Yay!

I'm not sure what I think about my own situation. I have no specific weight loss goals at the moment other than to become as athletic as I comfortably can. I'm not crazy about being 100 plus pounds over the BMI obesity threshold (one that is now being questioned by the likes of Dr. Sharma and others) and I would also like to buy clothing at a regular store and not have my joints stressed by everyday living. I know I could do more athletically if I didn't have a hundred and fifty pound back pack on me all the time.

I'm starting to truly believe that a very overweight person can be healthy if they're fit. Recent studies have shown that the fat around our organs (visceral fat) is reduced with exercise even when overall weight is not. This is further evidence that exercise is the cure for obesity.

On the one hand, the body works against us after weight loss, but on the other it works with us after exercise. It builds muscle, endurance, reduces visceral fat and our cardiovascular system becomes more efficient. This happens in everyone and it's foolproof, unlike weight loss.

Get as fit as you can. Near as I can tell, it's the only solution. As long as you're making improvements to your fitness, you cannot fail. This is one area where your body is on your side.

James's Fat Guy Guide for Novice Cyclists

One hope for this blog is to encourage people in my position to experience getting fit. So many people concentrate on calories and pounds and forget what's really important for the obese body: getting fit. A fit body need not worry what the scale says because fitness cures so much of the ill-effects of obesity.

The one big thing I learned in the last few months is that the obese body can become fit. You don't have to wait for the pounds to be gone. It would take years to lose all my excess weight but I started getting fit just a few weeks in.

I've been cycling all my life, avidly. My older brother was a competitive racer who gave me a good foundation of knowledge about bikes and bike mechanics. Cycling is one of my favourite things in the world and one of the things I most missed with my sedentary lifestyle. I've come across a lot of people who are intimidated by cycling and are hesitant to ever get on a bike. I thought I would talk about a few basic things in this blog post that pertain to an overweight first time cyclist.

So, can an overweight or obese person ride a bicycle? Absolutely! Don't be intimidated by those tiny, seemingly hard seats. And don't think you're going fall over. If you can walk without falling over you can ride a bike without falling over. Here are some great reasons why you should try it:

• It's a great compliment to any other exercise routine because it uses different muscles, or uses the major muscles in your lower body differently. It is essentially cross training for me to ride a bicycle as well as walk/jog. Walking helps me bike, biking helps me walk. It gives my walking muscles a chance to recuperate and get stronger while I do something different.
• It's empowering. We fatties are used to moving slowly and ungracefully. Riding a bike gives us a chance to move fluidly and fast!
• It's easy on the joints. Large people often have issues with their joints. Cycling is easy on the joints. It's a gently fluid motion without pounding or jolts to the body. 
• Having a variety of physical activity helps you enjoy exercising more and give you a better chance and keeping it up. 
• You can use a bike to commute and it'll save you money. Depending on where you live, it might even save you time due to traffic jams that a bike can fly past.

I love going biking with my kids, as you well know. My parents didn't do anything like that with me. My dad was ten years older than I was when I had my first kid yet he never did any active thing with me or my older brothers. My wife asked me if my parents went biking with me and I had to laugh because the notion was so absurd. It makes me happy to think I can do the things I could only dream my parents would do with me. 

Some thoughts about bikes

A hybrid bike (part mountain bike, part road bike)

I ride a hybrid which is a cross between a mountain bike and what older people think of as a 'ten speed' (road bike.) It has skinny wheels that don't always hold my weight but those thinner wheels are much more efficient on pavement than thicker mountain bike wheels. At my excessive weight, my thin hybrid wheels risk getting damaged so I stay on smooth surfaces like new streets and bike paths.

Mountain bikes solve the problem of weak wheels for the very heavy person. The wheels and tires are thick and withstand a lot of weight because they're built for riding down mountain trails and hitting rocks, bumps and tree roots. However, if you're heavy, I recommend sticking to reasonably gentle surfaces to ensure you don't bend a wheel. Not that's it's the end of the world if you do. They can usually be fixed or "trued."

They do make special bikes for obese people but they cost a small fortune ($2,000) and I don't think they're necessary. 

Mountain bike wheel with a tire meant for rough trails.

Tires: A thick, soft ribbed tire is less efficient on pavement. Any tire, including mountain bike tires can be changed to more smooth or slick tires that can be inflated to a higher pressure. If you're sticking to streets, these tires might make you happier because you'll zoom along with less effort. Tires usually cost between 15 and 50 dollars each. Paying the bike shop five bucks to put them on saves a lot of hassle. More expensive tires are more resistant to flats.

This tire is smooth for efficient riding on pavement but the edges
help with traction should you decide to go on an off-road trail.

Bike quality: Department store bikes and bike shop bikes aren't the same. Department store models are more likely to break down and need repairs, however bike shop bikes start at more than four hundred dollars. I recommend buying a quality used bike and taking it to a bike shop to have them give it a once over. 

Tips

Bring lots of water because we large people tend to sweat more. Most bikes are able to hold two water bottles. 

Bring a lock in case you get a flat or something and have to leave your bike somewhere.

Upgrade your seat ("saddle") to a better one than what comes with your bike. There are comfort seats available that make things easier for the casual cyclist. Try them out at the bike shop or return them to the store until you find one that makes you feel like you're sitting on the couch.

Comfort bikes are very popular these days. This is an extreme example of comfort.

Any bike you buy can be customized at a bike shop. They make comfort bikes now that let you sit upright and have comfy seats. This means changing the handlebars and saddle but the rest of the bike stays the same. You can always change things back at a later day if you become all Lance Armstrongy. 

Bike computers are fun. I have one with a heart rate monitor. They tell you what time it is, how far and fast you've gone and other stats that might motivate you.

I like biking in the evenings when it's cooler. They have many inexpensive, very bright LED bike lights now that help you be seen at dusk or at night.

Cycling shoes may help you with comfort. I have very high arches which you can limbo under, so I've had problems on long bike rides. Cycling shoes are hard and inflexible at the bottom and have solved any foot comfort issues I had.

Gloves: Cycling gloves are meant for long rides to prevent blistering. But the casual cyclist benefits from them too, especially us heavy people who have to hold up a lot of weight. It's worth the fifteen bucks plus you'll look cool.

Your bum: Buy a pair of cycling short liners (cycling pants to be worn as underwear) or a loose fitting pair of mountain biking shorts. They have extra padding where it counts and I find it really helps you have a luxurious ride. Most pants come in sizes up to only 2XL but you can sometimes find larger ones online.

A mirror for your handlebars, attached to your helmet or eyeglasses is helpful because turning your neck to see behind you can be challenging, especially if you're bigger.

Caution: Bikes with suspension systems often don't work for heavy people (they collapse under the weight). These systems are meant to keep the wheels on the dirt when you're bouncing down a mountain side. If you're considering a bike with suspension, make sure it can handle your weight. It may require some adjusting and bikes often don't come with manuals.

Give it a try and remember my early posts about how hard it was for me at first and how little hope I had of cycling any time soon. Borrow a friend's or family member's bike and try it a few times. Or just go out and buy one because you've discovered your inner athlete and every athlete needs a bike!

Is Wendy a Good Spokesperson for a New High-Calorie, High-Fat Burger?

Wendy Thomas in TV ad

The Wendy's fast food chain has new ads for a new high calorie burger featuring the namesake of the restaurant, Wendy Thomas, daughter of the late Dave Thomas. What my family and friends find unusual about her in this ad is that she's significantly overweight. Although there's certainly nothing wrong with overweight people selling burgers, it seems odd because there's a special context here.

800 calorie double Big 'n' Juicy burger

What if Ronald McDonald was fat? We know that she grew up with her dad owning this successful chain of restaurants and here she is, beautiful, radiant, and charming, but noticeably overweight, seemingly proof that being around fast food may not be healthy. What's worse is that she's selling one of their fattest, most calorie-ridden burgers yet. The Dave's Big 'n' Juicy as pictured is 800 calories, competing perhaps with McDonald's' new 800 calorie 1/3 pound Angus burgers (I thought fast food was supposed to be getting healthier. I'll say it again: The Big Mac at 500 calories now looks like a 'lite' burger.)

• See MSNBC story on the new burger

I'm not entirely sure what to make of this ad and my (our) response to it, but it is certainly something to think about. I will say this: It took some chutzpah on the part of Wendy Thomas and the ad agency to use an overweight spokesperson who happens to be the face of the chain, normally in caricature as a child, now grown up and presumably not a picture of perfect health.

48 grams of fat, for crying out loud, and she brags about the buns of this burger being buttered! Because they just didn't have enough fat in the ground beef, cheese and mayo!

I Felt Like I Was a 1000 Pounds in Grade School

Stop thinking that purple shirt and red tie wasn't stylish. I cruised right into the disco era when it peaked in grade six.

I was at an assembly at my son's school today and could see all the kids spread out before me. My first impression was, "Boy, there sure are lots of fat kids." My second impression was, "The fat kids are really overweight."

When I was in grade school I was considered the fat kid. There might have been one or sometimes two other kids in the class that classmates referred to as overweight, but I felt really, really fat. As I got older and looked back at old photos, the images don't match my memories. Some years I could barely be considered "big boned" for crying out loud. I was certainly not obese, no one in my school was that I can remember. But there's all kinds of kids who are obese now.

Some of these kids must be approaching twice the body weight of their peers. If they're like this now, at age nine, ten and eleven, what are they going to be like when they hit adulthood and sit behind a desk all day? They need intervention at as early an age as possible. I can't help but think that it's already too late for these kids. I see misery and hardship before them.

If I had to speculate on what I saw today, I'd say the poorer kids are more likely to be the ones with weight problems. I think statistics back that up. So why is that? I know they always say fatty food is cheaper but I have to think it has more to do with the parents' education and dedication to their children's upbringing.

But what do I know? All I know is that there are a lot more kids with weight problems than there were when I was a kid and being a kid with a weight problem isn't that much fun. I can say that with great authority.

Who Do We Aspire To Be? People In Car Commercials? The Answer Just May Be Yes!

Have you ever noticed how outdoorsy people are in car commercials? Not pickup truck commercials and not luxury car commercials but regular cars and SUVs. They're always heading somewhere with a kayak on their roof and a few mountain bikes attached to the back. They're fit, healthy and extremely happy.

It's no secret that ad agencies have always appealed to us by depicting the people we want to be, not the people we are. Even Depends adult diaper commercials show the elderly lawn bowling or going on brisk walks on the beach in track suits. It's got me wondering: What is the person I aspire to be?

Obesity puts a limit on the possibilities in life and after awhile you start to downsize your dreams, having given up on your body. Now, I'm finding, I'm starting to open up my thoughts on what I can be, knowing now that anything is possible. I doubt I'll ever climb Everest, but there's so much more possible with me now than there was a few months ago. And as I continue making progress, even more things will be possible.

Did I ever aspire to be the family with a kayak on their roof running off for a day of fun activity in nature? I think I did. It's been for so long that my aspirations have been crushed by the weight of...my weight. Cycling again is something I never thought possible and lamented not being able to do. Well I'm back and it's fantastic! A couch is nowhere to spend your life. Happiness IS being active. It IS getting out there and doing things the sedentary body cannot.

Many years ago I hit a bit of a bump in my life and decided to take off on a solo vacation to Hawaii. (My airline ticket was only $399 return!) I was going through my fitness phase at the time and bought a little tourist book on Hawaii. The book suggested a place to rent bicycles and the author highly recommended renting a kayak at a certain park. I had  never been on a kayak before but he wrote that this kayak outing was suitable for beginners. After an hour long bus ride there, I found that kayaking was not permitted due to lack of water in the small stream. I was DEVASTED. I thought my whole vacation was ruined. To this day, I have never kayaked.

But I did have a bike for the whole time I was there. It was a tremendous way to explore a tourist destination. You pick up so much more on a bike, all your senses can take everything in. (I imagine scooters and motorcycles are good too but maybe not as good.) I cycled along the coast to a beach destination and when I returned, I was so high on the experience I cycled and cycled through Honolulu. And when I got back to the hotel, I promptly got the flu.

Nevertheless, I swore I would do this sort of active, outdoorsy thing every chance I could and that I would embrace the outdoor experience for everything it had to offer. Instead, I spent a great deal of time on chairs and couches watching my life pass me by and putting my health at great risk.

I've been eyeing up kakaks at the store the last few months. Such preposterous thoughts wouldn't be permitted with the old James but there's so much out there for the new me to discover.

I'll start with going tobogganing with my kids for the first time and take it from there. Maybe some mountain biking on nature trails (they're building one all across Canada, you know), some hiking and possibly even some kayaking could be in my future.

A few months ago I didn't think I had a future of any kind, let alone the one I'm now starting to imagine.

An Update on that 100 year old Marathon Runner

Fauja Singh, 100, became the oldest person to run a marathon this weekend in Toronto. (Chris Young/Canadian Press via CBC)

These are the kind of stories that remind me not to doubt what is possible with changing my body. I used to think 44 was too old to get fit. This guy is running a marathon at a hundred years old and he only took up running at the age of 80! It's never too late! He runs 16 KM per day. That seems unimaginable to me at almost any age, yet I know I'm wrong. 

• Centenarian set to become world's oldest marathoner (CTV.ca)

There's a few more tidbits in this story, including the information that he is grieving the loss of his wife and one of his sons. He used running very late in life to treat his depression.

He ended up completing it in 8.5 hours. He managed the full marathon, 42+ KM. It would be an amazing achievement just to stand up for 8.5 hours even at my age. He completed a marathon 3 hours faster when he was 90.

This story, this inspirational man, should reset everything you think about physical activity.

I kept thinking, "What if he drops dead during the race?" But what a way to go. I don't think I know anyone who wouldn't want to go out that way--running a marathon at age 100.

Now for gosh sake, take a good hard look at yourself and tell me why you can't go for a little walk around the block.

I Find that a Lot of People Are Nuts

And now a post that some people will find offensive. Good! (Please come back and read my blog again in a few days after you calm down.)

Dieting Pet Peeve: People who go on fad diets.

I know people who are very smart people in every other aspect of their life who think it's a good idea to go on a fad diet and have the expectation it will change their life. From what I've read, success happens very seldom. Sure, you probably could find people who have been on Atkins diets, for example, for many years and are sticking to it. But are the majority of people who tried it still doing it after a year or two?

A dietary change is something you have to stick to your whole life. I'm guessing that those few Aitkin's success people found something that restricts their calories and is something that they can live with forever. I'm  no expert on the solution for me and I won't be until I find something that works for me for five years or even ten years before I declare success.

When I lost 125 pounds in the 90s I started by using Slim Fast dark chocolate shakes. But then I started reading a little bit and educating myself. I'm a person who puts his trust in science, even if science is imperfect and evolves. People thought, because I was using Slim Fast that I was on a fad diet. I wasn't. I ate the same crap I always did, just less.

I had a chocolate Slim Fast double shake in the mornings. One shake didn't do anything for me, it didn't shut down the hunger so I combined my breakfast and lunch shakes together. I essentially starved all day. I could have replaced the shakes with a couple bowls of high fibre cereal and a multivitim and had the same result.  In fact, I started doing that after I tired of the same shake every day. But I still enjoyed getting my chocolate fix so I always returned to shakes.

Nowadays I eat higher fibre toast or cereal to start my day and try not to let myself get too hungry. You slow down when you're hungry and burn less calories. My goal is to strive for five smaller meals throughout the day and not go overboard on the portion sizes.

If you start a fad diet, ask yourself if you can do this every day until you die. If you can't then the diet won't be successful.

In spite of this blog, friends still ask me if I'm allowed to eat this or that. The people at my clinic, my doctor included, aren't asking me to stop eating anything, even pizza. They're just asking me to eat less of the bad things and include more good things like fruits and vegetables. From what I can see, that's the current scientific thinking on how to approach the diet of overweight people. That thinking may change one day but I think we're starting to get somewhere with our understanding of how the overweight body and mind works.

I also roll my eyes when people do cleansing routines. Until science says it's a good idea, why do people do it? I "cleansed" my colon for two colonscopies and I was no different afterwards. Plus, there were no fifty pound chunks of undigested red meat coming out or found in my exam.

If you're not smart about things, you don't stand a chance on improving your health. You're doctor probably knows best, not the person you work or your odd cousin Harold who swears by something unproven by science.

Science: It's something to believe in!

The Fat Vs. Calories Question

When I was losing weight and exercising in the 1990s, everything I read and heard was about how bad dietary fat was and that fat intake was every bit a concern as colorie intake. But in the last ten years I've been reading the occasional news story that comes up on a study that says colories are what we should be counting. (That and fibre so you feel fuller longer because it digests slowly.)

So the question I now have (and forgot to ask my nutritionist last time but will next appointment) is: If fat doesn't matter so much, isn't it a good idea to eat some fat in your diet because fat satiates you more. In other words, it gives you a feeling of being full or satisfied.

I was getting a delicious McDonald's coffee this morning and read "Slim something or other" Cranberry Orange Muffin on the menu board. My family gets these all the time but the word "Slim" somehow drew me in today. I ate half of it, came home and looked up the nutritional info. It has 360 calories and eight grams of fat.

The bacon and egg McMuffin has 40 fewer calories but almost twice the fat. Yet this greasy sandwich would probably go a longer way to satisfying me (it has the same amount of fibre as the muffin: only 2 grams.) I could order it without cheese and it would be almost 100 calories less than the "Slim" muffin with just a little more fat. (By the way, I've determined that the bacon and egg McMuffin is the least unhealthy sandwich on the McDonald's breakfast menu and I've even seen that fact mentioned in literature.)

I can guess that filling up on saturated fats or trans fats isn't a good idea because of what it can do to your heart health. And I also know from a little reading and my own experience that eating fat leads to wanting to eat more fat. The result of which is probably a higher consumption of calories due to increased cravings as we seek out our next fatty fix. One benefit of fat, however, is that it helps us absorb certain vitamins, but I'm sure we get enough of it even in the lowest fat diets.

One of my eating challenges is to eat less fat in my diet. I crave it and it's habitual with me. I suspect it's best to have a healthy balance, not too much but not necessarily counting every gram either (unless you have special dietary concerns.)

Update: Here's what Dr. Sharma has to say about protein filling you up.

Why Seeing Obese Children Bothers Me

I get bothered when I see overweight children, particularly bothered, I presume, because I know what it was like to be them. Instinctively, I want to blame the parents even though I have no way of knowing if they voluntarily contributed to the problem.

Research has long been talked about in newspapers and on television programs that show maternal obesity and smoking are risk factors for childhood obesity. But what I always imagine in my mind is parents being stupid and feeding their children excess calories and abandoning them in front of TV sets and video games.

When I became a parent eight years ago, I wanted to know things about parenting. Most people nowadays pick up a book or two to prepare themselves to be better parents to their children than their parents were to them. It wasn't hard to come across information that doctors and researchers believe calorie-laden beverages, including fruit juices, are not a good idea for children to consume on a regular basis. I occasionally see toddlers sucking on a Coke and it's as disconcerting a sight to me as seeing a pregnant woman smoking.

I desperately want my kids not to be overweight. For starters, it's a health issue but it's also the psychological aspect. And for me it's not the school yard taunting that most people assume happens to fat kids because that didn't happen very much to me and when it did, I wasn't traumatized by it. I guess it's more the feeling left behind and the prejudices that come with being overweight.

My father smoked until I was five and then had a heart attack that scared him straight. Most of the next fifteen  years I lived in fear of him dying until he did when I was twenty. Smoking likely contributed to his early death and during his last fifteen years he begged his kids not to smoke. None of us three boys ever did. For years I refused to even pretend to smoke as an actor. I refused to put a real cigarette to my mouth, in honour of my father.

So my parental issue is obesity and I am adamant about not contributing negatively to my children's health. So far so good, but it's been challenging. We have spent far too much time at fast food restaurants or eating prepared and processed foods. I do, however, allow my kids to be active and encourage outdoor activity without stressing about unreasonable fears for their safety.

I take it quite personally when I see an obese child. I think to myself, rightly or wrongly, "Well that kid is screwed." and I think that the parents let her or him down. I know it's a very negative reaction but it's how I react.

My mother did things that could have affected my obesity yet it's not really possible to know if she should be blamed completely. She was a nurse who was and is always worried about what other people think of her. I was born several weeks early and they let her bring me home from the hospital before I reached five pounds because she was a nurse. The first night at home, she fed me solid food so I'd gain weight and she wouldn't look incompetent to her co-workers. That's a no-no and they knew that back then but my mother began trying to fatten me up from day one.

She also didn't breast feed me, which was more common back then but now we know it reduces the risk of obesity and is helpful in so many other ways. In fact recent studies show that it is beneficial for mothers to breast feed as long as they can. Two years and beyond is a good target from what I keep reading.

My mother insisted on feeding and feeding me. A thin child was a sickly and embarrassing child. Even now she complains about how fat I am in one breath and then complains how my children aren't eating enough in the next. She's 85, sure, but she should know better.

I'm particularly bothered when I see very overweight toddlers. There are several overweight kids in my daughter's preschool that aren't even five years old yet. One girl has the appearance of having breasts because she's so overweight. I would guess that some kids weigh almost twice as much as others of the same height. If they have this problem now, it's only gong to get worse when they become adults and their activity level slows down.

There was a story in the news recently of a child being taken away from their parents due to the parents clearly being at fault for the child's poor diet. I hate to see any kid have to face this disease if it's not necessary. We need more education and more support for parents. Giving a tax break for putting your kid in hockey isn't going to solve the problem.

I Broke Through A Major Barrier Last Night

Chris Powell, right. From his ABC TV show.

In the TV reality show Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition, trainer Chris Powell shouts the following words to doubting clients trying to workout: "Every time you think you can't do something, I'm going to prove to you that you can!"

This is something that is happening internally with me as well. I have had numerous misconceptions in what people in general are capable of and what I am capable of. Time after time I prove myself wrong by accomplishing what I thought was impossible.

I've encountered many obese people who haven't exercised a day in their life and have countless misconceptions about fitness. Yet I should know better. I had gone through a fitness phase when I was 30 years old. I went from obese and sedentary to thin and fit. I lived and breathed exercise for two or three years. It was ingrained in me even years after I stopped. So how could I have so many misconceptions about myself now and what was possible?

Well, I didn't know everything back when I was thirty. I still don't, of course, but what I do know now is that almost anything is possible with the human body.

Our bodies adapt to whatever it is we're doing. If we walk for fifteen minutes it builds muscle in our lower body thinking that we will need to walk again tomorrow (possibly to catch a sabre-toothed tiger for dinner.) If we let our bodies sit on the couch all day, our bodies think they no longer need muscle mass and will let it waste away. Soon it's a struggle to have the strength just to make it to the fridge.

I started in April by walking my three year old daughter to her preschool just a block away. It took me seven minutes there, seven minutes back, I was soaked in sweat and exhausted. I used the hour and a half just to rest up so I could pick her up at the end of her class. This happened just twice a week. Then I was asked to add some more walking on a day or two that my daughter didn't go to class.

By then, I was getting used to it and I started doing twenty minutes a night including nights when she went to school in the day time. Things began to change in me. I stopped feeling helpless. I stopped feeling hopeless. My body began to get stronger, more capable. I began to dream about riding bikes and jogging, but I saw those goals as either impossible or goals that would take months or years of hard work to achieve.

If you read my blog, you know the rest of the story. And last night I jogged for twenty minutes straight outside. This is a very important achievement for me because it matches what I did when I was the fittest I've been in my life, fifteen years ago. But I did it last night carrying an extra 150 pound weight on my back.

My body, you see, adapted. I added small increments of time to my jogging (making sure I had off days to rest and recover) and my body got stronger and stronger, preparing for the next time I jogged. I now have legs of steel.

When I first met with my exercise counsellor at the end of June, I told her I was trying 30 second intervals of jogging to spice up my walks and that my goal was to one day this winter be able to jog for 10 minutes once or twice a week. I can remember thinking, "Ten minutes would be nice, that would be good enough if I could only get there."

Now I think that I'll never run 5K in my life and I'll certainly never run a half marathon (21+ KM). But I know it's not impossible if I ever want to do it. It would take the same methods I used to get where I am today: slowly increase the length of my exercise and have patience as my body adapts.

And speaking of misconceptions, my wife, who is a pretty smart person, asked me after my ground-breaking workout last how my heart rate did after such a long run. I could have circumnavigated the globe and my heart rate wouldn't have changed. I've got a pace I jog at and my heart rate goes up to that level and stays there for however long I jog. That's the way it works.

It's like a running car parked in the driveway. The RPMs are normally at 1000 when you're idling but you when you press the pedal it goes up to 2000. Some people see exercise as a car going up the hill with the pedal to the metal. By the top of the hill there's steam coming out of the radiator. If you go slow, your breathing is deeper but not out of breath and you feel pretty much the same at the end of your jog as you do at the beginning, just a little more fatigued (but as invigorated as anything you can experience.)

If you're like me, or worse, you can think of a hundred reasons why you can't exercise and all the things you can't do. You'll have to just bowl these misconceptions over one pin at a time as they come up until you have a full understanding of the reality of what you are capable of.

I believe exercise is the cure for obesity. That's not to say it alone is the cure for excess body fat. As of now, I no longer feel obese yet I'm a full 100 pounds over the current clinical definition for obesity (BMI) for a man of my height. I'm more capable than a lot of thin people my age and I'm only going to get better and better.

Being thin isn't going to make you happy, it isn't going to fix everything's that wrong with you, but empowering yourself with fitness can sure go a long way to cure what ails you, regardless of what the scale says. And hey, it's going to take me years to lose all this excess weight if I so chose to go that route, but getting fit only took a few months with tremendous benefits coming within weeks.

Because...

Every step I take walking, jogging or cycling moves me further away from the shackles of obesity. It's not the getting smaller that counts, it's the getting stronger.

Out of Body: My Last Major Bike Ride of the First Summer of the New Me

There are remarkable moments in life that, as they are happening, you know you're living a moment you will never forget. I realized that tonight nearing the end of a 65 minute challenging bike ride. By then I was alone, soaked in sweat with my heart racing and my blood full of exercise-released endorphins. It was pitch black outside and it started to rain. I hadn't felt that alive in many, many years. When you're in those moments, rare as they may be, you welcome the rain. You look at the sky and yell, "Bring it on! I feel incredible!"

With dinner in the oven, I loaded the bikes onto the minivan, picked up my wife from work and we came home to eat supper. The sun sets at 6:25 so we had to be fast to take advantage of what might be the last warm day of Fall.

But it was windy and I headed into it with my daughter towing behind. My heart rate frequently surged past 85% and it was all I could do just to keep going. But we made it to the childrens' play park and I dropped off the wife and kids, detached the ride-on trailer for the first time since I got it a week ago, and rode off back into the night alone to get the minivan.

With the subsiding winds behind me, the trailer no longer dragging on my bike, the streets and pathways empty due to nightfall and my legs thrusting me effortlessly through the blackness, I felt like Superman.

Exhilarated, I thought of myself just three months ago, tentatively opening the shed to look at my once-trusty bicycle, its rear wheel bent. It had sat unused, unloved for the last twelve years. I wondered for the first time if it and I could ever could be one again. After the first try taking it up the street, my legs in pain, my bottom sore, I didn't have a lot of hope, yet I somehow remained determined. Maybe next year, I thought. Maybe if I work hard for a year, I could ride it again.

It's not a cliché, it's not a meaningless expression when I say I couldn't have imagined ever experiencing a moment like that again in my life, only a few months ago. Honestly, I would have given the same weight to someone telling me I'd be an astronaut on the space shuttle.

But with one little step at a time, I built and built and built until I got to this point. If I can go from being a near-invalid to feeling like the world's greatest athlete for a few wonderful minutes in the rain, so can you. Everyone can. You just have to become a believer. To become a believer, you've got to turn off your brain and get out there, do your best, whatever that may be, build on small steps for a little while, and one day when you least expect it, it'll hit you. You'll change and you'll never imagine yourself stopping.

Why I Do It

I run into a lot of people who are adverse to exercise. So I want everyone to know, I started exercising to lose weight, but I do it now to take back my body.

Overweight, Male and Having to Be Shirtless

Not me.

I've been blogging in some form or other since 1997, mostly for an audience of my friends. I've explored everything from bowel movements to public nudity, but this is the one post I kinda wish my friends wouldn't read. I've finally found a line that is difficult for me to cross. But for some reason, it's easier to tell strangers.

One of the most difficult pieces of writing I've done was telling the story of being diagnosed with chronic anxiety and realizing I suffered from it all my life. Because it gets into the stigma of mental illness, I feel like some friendships haven't quite been the same since. Yet, I have no regrets. Disclosing everything is what I do.

Some things, however, are embarrassing to admit. But today an overweight man confessed to me that he'd like to take up swimming as his much-needed physical activity but was afraid of the embarrassment. I decided then that this blog post was long overdue.

I have suffered tremendous anxiety over the issue of taking off my shirt in public over most of my life and have missed out on a great, great deal of things because of it. And I remember vividly the moment it started.

I was somewhere between the age of six and eight years old. It was a hot summer day and my best friend came over to play as he did almost every day. We were already inseparable friends for life at that point. We decided to play under the sprinkler or go in a paddling pool (I can't remember which.) He went home, got his bathing suit and returned. After he rang the door bell I showed up at the back door in my bathing suit and he laughed at me. I was starting to become overweight for the first time in my life and he had said something about me starting to grow breasts.

A switch went off in me. I said calmly, "I don't want to swim today" and I closed the door, changed into my clothes and we played something else. I'm not sure I swam in public again in public as a kid. Maybe a time or two at the beach with my dad but I was very self-conscious.

In grade eight I signed up for the wrestling team, coached by the same friend who was now in high school (I had to repeat grade two.) At the weigh-in, people laughed when 200 (pounds) showed up on the scale. I was nearly six feet tall and I wasn't that much overweight. I was fine with the whole school knowing I had hit a landmark weight that no one else had reached. I was told I would have to compete in a rare weight class.

I could train for wrestling with my shirt on so I was fine but I knew when the completion day came, I would have to take off my shirt. I was consumed with this for every waking moment of my life leading up to the competition. When the day finally came and I was tagged to get into the ring, I wasn't sure I was going to do it. But I took off my shirt and a great weight lifted from my shoulders. I had done what I had spent too much time dreading. Turns out I got dropped on my head moments into my match by a strong giant of a young man, but hey, I had faced shirtlessness and competed as an athlete for the first and last time in my life.

I got a second place ribbon because there were only two people in the city in that weight group. I still have it to this day and it's a source of pride. I'd like to tell you that I got over the issue then, but I did not.

I signed up for optional gym classes in high school but dreaded--really dreaded--days when "shirts" played "skins" in sports. I don't know if the teachers sensed my anxiety but I managed to somehow avoid being on the skins team dozens of times. The couple of times I was on the skins team, I was paralysed by embarrassment and anxiety. No fun was had.

Then came the most shameful episode of shirtlessness. When my gym teacher announced we'd be going swimming for two months of weekly classes, my insides almost fell onto the floor. I started jogging on my own time trying desperately to lose weight but without any education on the matter. I had no idea what I was doing and it was impossible too lose very much weight in a short period of time anyway.

I skipped the swimming classes, one at a time. It was easy to skip gym class. The teachers rarely reported you. But I knew I had to show up for class eventually, there were just too many swimming outings to miss. I came up with a plan at the last second, and out of all the stupid things I've done in my life, this was right up there. I decided to manually rip the inseam in my bathing suit at lunch time and claim I couldn't swim that day when I was already at the pool. No one would catch on, I thought. They did. My George Costanza-like  plan fooled no one. I was deeply ashamed and decided to swim anyway with a ripped and revealing bathing suit, tense body and arms folded over my fatty bits.

Of course, I always really liked being in water. Almost all kids do. A lifetime of excuses and anxiety over shirtlessness entailed. I'm not the only one. The internet is full of stories like mine.

When my wife and I bought our first house, I got the idea to save up for a steel above ground pool. I was freelancing at the time and had the opportunity to take on extra work. I worked for 60-80 hours or more every week for several months so I could buy a pool. In the end I spent several thousand dollars on it including a heater.

I remember the early summer day when it was ready to enter. Walking into the crystal clear, luxuriously-warm water sent waves of happy childhood memories through me. And the realization of all that had been lost in my life.

I Bit Off More Than I Could Chew Tonight

No, this post isn't about food.

I try to exercise every day. I even look forward to it throughout the day. On days I don't exercise (maybe two or three days per  month) I feel bad and guilty. Disturbingly, I also feel like I'm gaining weight on those days.

Life long success for people like me depends on being able to deal with imperfection when it comes to eating and exercise. I need to relax about the days I'm too sick or busy to exercise or when I make poor decisions with my eating (I had two birthday parties yesterday so there was lots of cake and fatty food available to me and no time to exercise.)

The last two nights prior to my day off, I went for bike rides with my daughter riding the bike trailer. Two consecutive days of cycling made my arms very sore. It's funny that my arms are my problem. My exercise counsellor had me lifting free weights in order to help me with cycling but it seems to be not just strength but joints in my arms that are the issue.

I have to support a lot of weight while leaning forward on my bike. An upright position would be more preferable but I'd have to make changes to my bike's handle bars in order to accomplish that. And no "real cyclist" would go for that because sitting upright isn't really efficient, especially aerodynamically. But I put myself in this position by gaining all that weight, I suppose I could spend a year or two sitting upright on my bike.

Tonight, after a day off, I returned to cycling with my family in the dark after dinner. I put in 30 vigorous minutes of cycling--or I should say Team Double D did. That's my new cycling team consisting of my three year old daughter and me (Daddy and Daughter) on essentially the same bike. (She tells relatives on the phone that she has a new bike and it only has one wheel, causing the person on the other end to be quite confused.)

After my bike ride tonight, I felt really warmed up and raring to go. I put on my running shoes and went for a short walk and jog. For some reason, I got a stitch in my side even though my heart rate was below 80%. I had to stop a couple minutes short of my 6 minute goal. I expected my legs to be quite fresh for jogging after three days on a bike and one day off but it didn't work out that way.

My legs were fatigued from cycling just prior to my jog and even though you use some different muscles in different ways in cycling than jogging, it still affected my ability to jog. I now have even greater respect for people who can compete in triathlons.

But don't dismay, dear reader. If I wanted to cycle then jog as part of my routine, all I'd have to do is train for it (practice) and I'm sure my body would quickly respond. Because if you've got one thing out of this blog it should be that the human body is an amazing thing.