Just Like That, Something New Realized

Sometimes I forget he's only eight.

Tonight I did something I've never done before.

I've said that a lot in the last year, haven't I? You know how many times I've said that in the fifteen years before that? Probably not at all.

Since I re-took up cycling almost a year ago,--Jesus, it's hard to type that, remembering that person who first got back on his bike on July 1st and the limitations he had and/or felt he had...

Let me start again.

When I got back on my bike a year ago I was reacquainting myself with fond memories of my younger years riding a road bike on streets, paved pathways and the occasional highway. I've never owned a mountain bike, didn't like them. I grew up watching my brother fine tune his racing bike for the lightest and fastest it could be...on the road. Mountain bikes were inefficient and pointless to me. I never understood them.

Until now, anyway.

During the last year of cycling with my eight year old, he's often asked me to go off road with him. I never did because I was afraid of breaking my wheels. I even avoid unsmooth streets because the wheels on my road bike are too thin and delicate for a 300 pound man. I bent a wheel once last year and had to get it fixed. Fortunately, perhaps due to a lower weight than last year, I've not had that problem again. But I stay off the gravel paths that my boy wants me to go on.

The only mountain bikes I've tried have been my wife's. They've never felt good. I dismissed mountain bikes altogether after several failed rides.

But recently I started getting curious about mountain bikes. I've often felt that I should ride one until I'm lighter because the wheels are wider and stronger on mountain bikes and they have bigger tires to absorb shock.

Then I started thinking it'd be fun to cycle through provincial parks on a mountain bike. And then I started researching trails. The Trans Canada Trail will one day go from coast to coast to coast in Canada. I started to think it'd be fun to ride on parts of it.

Call it a dream. Call it a notion to try something new. Nevertheless, I'm still a very large man who has a long way to go in reclaiming his body. I'm also getting long in the tooth, so the idea of trying new physical things still makes me hesitant.

About a week ago, my friend Brian offered me his old mountain bike which he stored outside due to lack of room. It was old and well-worn but it was a decent bike when it was new so it had potential. I quickly overhauled it and even painted some of it. For not too much money, a little bit of elbow grease, and a few trips to the bike shop, I got myself a spanky "new" ride.

Tonight, as the sun set, my son and I went for a spin to test her out. After a few gravel trails through neighbourhood parks, and some zipping up and down sidewalks onto the streets, we brazenly headed out onto a trail created by an SUV or two that circled around the edge of our neighbourhood, through a farmer's field and onto railroad property.

It was exhilarating, mostly because it was scary. The terrain got worse and worse but I felt that stopping would be a bad thing, especially because it was getting hard to see in the fading light. We dodged large rocks, minor cliffs and pools of water with mud, not to mention tall grass and weeds with thorns poking into our ankles.

It had me on edge, and my son too. But we made it and it was fun. And different. Different is good.

My son told me he was proud of himself and proud of me too.

The sedentary rarely do anything that raises the hair on their back. Sometimes living--really living-- means taking chances or trying new things that aren't easy or there's no sure outcome to them.

I hit a rut tonight, stopped suddenly and banged my belly into the handlebars (while the bars twisted downward out of place.) Was I phased? No. I'll be back again tomorrow.

Me, of one year ago, the fat guy who was two weeks from his first bike ride in fifteen years, wouldn't have had tonight's events cross his mind in his wildest imagination. What we accomplished tonight was completely unimaginable to me a year ago.

I'm almost afraid to think what else might be out there for me.