I Just Did Something Remarkable, Surreal, and Previously Unimaginable

It actually warmed up an hour after I got home.

I went for a walk, but this post isn't about fitness. Hell, this isn't even about obesity, really. I headed out in a -31° C. temperature with a dangerous wind chill of -45° C. Let me quote to you from this evening's government-issued weather warning: "At these extreme wind chill values frostbite on exposed skin may occur in less than 10 minutes."

Wow, what an amazing experience I just had! When you get older and you don't have a lot of money, new and amazing experiences are hard to come by. But they're what make life great. They're what slow down the ever-increasing speed of time as you age. They're what help keep you young.

Before you have me committed, let me explain. This is like petting a snake if you have a snake phobia. I have a bit of a winter phobia. It's more of a mindset that when winter comes, we have to cocoon. And therefore, winter is bad. That's a terrible attitude to have because winter is 2/3rds of our year where I live on the Canadian prairies.

Two reasons why I did this: Firstly, I bought a pair of traction aids for walking on slippery snow and ice today. They were on clearance for $8 from $25 (Bentley, Northgate Mall, Regina.) They're not the coil style, they're the cleat style. I didn't want to wait this cold snap out to see how they work. I have had lots of near-slips when I'm out walking because there's a lot of ice due to the warm winter (yeah, it's certainly not warm any more.)

Secondly, I wanted to see what the limits of my winter gear are, and find out how effective my layering method of dressing is. I hadn't planned on going past my driveway but when my traction aids made walking seem incredibly easy and secure (like walking on dry pavement), I had to see if I could go down to the end of the block. Then I had to see if I could go further. I felt like I was the first astronaut walking on Mars.

Earlier in the evening, we went out to a modest dinner to celebrate my wife's birthday. Most people in Regina  stayed home tonight. It's bloody cold, even for here. I was in pain from the cold wind just from the few seconds it took me to plug our car in and run into the house when we got home from the restaurant. Our whole family huddled under covers for an hour to warm up after the cake was consumed. So what on earth drove me to go do this? Curiosity, I guess. And a little determination.

The wind was strong coming off the open highway near our house. I didn't feel any discomfort so I kept going, afraid to stray too far from home under such adverse conditions. After a few minutes, my wrists started to get cold. I pulled down my sleeves a bit further and my gloves up on my arms a bit. Problem solved and I returned to my home but decided to keep going, right into the fierce, potentially deadly wind.

I was fine. The only part of my body exposed were my eyeballs. As I approached the open area around the highway, the bridge of my nose got cold. I pulled down my woolly toque over my eyebrows but it only partially helped. I decided to walk into the relative shelter of a street. From then on, I wasn't cold anywhere. My biceps, of all things, were a bit cool, but not uncomfortably so. There must be something weak in the lining of my coat. It could have been solved by wearing an extra long sleeve shirt or maybe a different fleece middle layer.

I was out in that for half an hour. The worst part was worrying that I may have died and it was all a post-death dream. It was just too easy. With ski goggles, who knows what I could have accomplished out there.

Here's what I wore, from head to toe:

Thick woolly toque over:
MEC Outdoor Research balaclava with mesh over the mouth area
Wind River gloves ($45, Mark's)
Short sleeve t-shirt
Fleece jacket from Walmart as a mid-layer
Cheap Walmart winter jacket as an outer layer
Three layers of sweat pants, with the wind-breaking pants on the outside
Old fashioned thick wool socks (Mark's)
An old pair of worn out runners
Traction Aids pulled over my runners

My feet weren't the slightest bit cold, I swear to you. When your core is warm while you're doing the slightest bit of exercise, your extremities are toasty. It's one thing to read this, it's another to prove it to yourself.

So...I just kicked winter in the ass, maybe even K-O'd it. Take that, winter! That's for repressing me and all those I love for all these years!

It was remarkable. It's especially remarkable for the fat person who is always making excuses not to go outside in any weather, let alone this. Who in their right mind would go for a walk in -45 windchills? Certainly not the fat guy.

The obese person has a lot of voices in her or his head saying, "You can't." My perceptions of what are possible have changed once again, while I learn that those voices aren't necessarily right.

I'm still not quite sure I'm not dead. Will I do it again? Why not? The side walks aren't very crowded in this weather!