My body continues to get smaller. My clothing sizes are changing. Most importantly, I've shed my disabilities by vastly improving my fitness level.
Even in months where my pounds don't decrease, I am boosted by the fact my fitness level is increasing. This I can control, very easily. Eating control is a lot more complex and difficult. And for me, maintaining exercise on a regular basis helps me want to be more in control of how I eat.
People so want to be "skinny." They so want to be a "normal" unfat person. It's the end all and be all for so many overweight people. It was for me fifteen years ago until I realized being thin didn't solve any of my problems.
Today, as a middle aged man, I'm focused on my physical ability. A year and a bit ago I thought I was on a short road to an early death. I had lost much of the use of my body. I was helplessly sedentary. Just rolling over in bed was a big deal.
It's not any more. I could stand to lose another 140 pounds of fat but it doesn't matter that much to me. What matters is my health and the fact that I have one hell of a strong heart these days. I've regained the ability to participate in everyday activities most people take for granted, everyday activities I was unable to do for much of the last ten years.
For me, my quest for "normal" is now a quest for a normal physical ability, not a normal body size. I am fat, but I don't feel fat. I haven't for a long time. I feel good about myself. A year ago I'd insist on "driving" the shopping cart at grocery stores with my family because I was ashamed of my body and leery of my capability of walking around the store without something to lean on. I'd return home exhausted and sore from head to toe. Nowadays I could tip the shopping cart on it's end and dance on top it. Well, almost.
As I achieve frequent new milestones with my journey to physically improve myself and ever increase my abilities, I am thankful for two things. The first, obviously, is my medical clinic which supports me. I needed that little nudge of guidance and encouragement to get me going.
Secondly, I have found that I am thankful for the gift of knowledge. Knowledge about the basics of physical fitness and how the body works. I'm far, far away from being an expert and I've got lots to learn, but I very much regret entering adulthood awfully ignorant of how the body works. All this should have been taught in school, but it wasn't, at least not for me.
The book that changed my life was
The New Fit or Fat by Covert Bailey. The author was very well known in the early 90s for his PBS TV appearances. His best selling book taught the basics a fat person needs to know about changing their body. He argued that people are either fit or fat. Even thin people can be fat if they're not fit. And fat people can be fit. I'm getting to be one of those people now.
I learned about using heart rate monitoring for any and all exercise as a way to improve my fitness. I learned that the body adapts to whatever you do. He taught me the importance of making the muscles in your lower body hard and strong through gentle aerobic exercise such as walking. Finally, I learned how to quickly monitor and improve my fitness through this knowledge.
The book is now all but forgotten, and the author retired. I'm sure there are many other great books out there, but I strongly encourage you to learn about your body. You need to know how fitness works even if you never plan to put on a running shoe for the rest of your life.
I am tremendously lucky to have the gift of this knowledge. It's the foundation my future health is built upon.
My friend Jay lent me the book in 1993 when we were both underemployed and struggling. I took it to heart and never forgot its lessons. Without this knowledge, I'd be just another struggling dieter.
